Worst Essays Funny

When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.College essays can play a vital role in college admissions. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

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Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at p.m. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

You would be amazed at the things that get written in admissions essays-even to top schools.

About the Author: Laura Morrison is the Web Content Manager for Grad

My short-terms goals: find out how many Crunchwrap Supremes is Crunchwrap Supremes. I would like to attend this school because my parents are forcing me to write this essay. I’m not that great at writing, so in place of an admissions essay, please accept this Internet meme.

Dude sure knew how to wear a pair of buckskin breeches. My talents include complaining, criticizing other people’s fashion choices, and bloodletting. My long-term goals: graduate in four years, find a decent job in my field, and have a sizable amount in my 401k by the time I’m 40. The world is ending in 2017 thanks to a solar eclipse, or something of that nature.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t. Mc Bride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at p.m.

She earned an MBA from the Rutgers School of Business in 2010.

From ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO COLLEGE, by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron's Educational Series, Inc.