A lady called Mary answered and although I'm not one to judge I am pretty sure English wasn't her first language. She began by recapping pretty much everything she had told me in our chat, and reassured me that all of their writers were either MA or Ph D qualified. The time had come to order my essay, my magnum opus.I gave them a fake essay title, "To what extent are women restricted by society in Victorian literature?
"Being a student isn’t just about passing your course, although that, naturally, is your main objective.
Being a student is also about preparation for your future career and future life.
For starters, the standard of English was sub-par and grammatically all over the place – I’ve sent drunk texts more coherent than what they gave me. At one point they call character Mr Brocklehurst ‘Mr Blocklehurst’. “You could go to town on it really”, he said, adding that it paid little analytical attention to the texts, used no literary theory, had a generalist and often conversationalist tone, and used poor references (that were also referenced wrong).
The opening sentence reads: “The Victorian era refers to the period when Queen Victoria ruled the British monarchy”. In the bibliography they cite a website called grin.com, which upon inspection seems to be website where you can sell your essays, and a website called philpapers.org, which I assume is a website run by a man called Phil. “If a student gave me this I’d ask them 'what on Earth have you learnt? But what mark would it achieve if I were to submit it as my own work?
The Sales Representative told me: "We use a precise writer matching system to assign the best possible writer to your order.
You will have to provide us with detailed instructions, and we will find the appropriate writer for you". I'm at the bottom of my overdraft you see, both financially and in motivation".
The majority of my time is spent under levels of stress that can only be described as 'pretty high'.
I'm paying £9000 a year for access to Power Point presentations even my lecturers don’t want to read.
You pay per 275 words, with prices fluctuating based on variables such as the type of work and whether you're undergraduate or masters, they'll even write your whole dissertation for you, depending on how fucking done you are with university.
There are even 'premium' services, an academic ‘Taste the Difference’ range, I presume, where you can pay for add-on extras such as 24/7 support, allowing you to contact the writer in charge of creating your masterpiece.